Janelle In Real Life: It's Ok to Backslide


It's Ok to Backslide

Almost exactly one year ago I wrote a post on here called "How I Lost 25 Pounds in 2017." My purpose in writing that post was to give a realistic & in depth take on what it took for me to shed that weight and my hope was that it would help someone in a similar situation as me.

Now here we are 1 year later, and I'm admitting it-- I backslid.

I read that post now (especially the title) and I cringe a little. Because I did achieve this thing that I was proud of, but now I'm sort of bummed out to see I didn't maintain it. At beginning of 2018 I'd lost 25 lbs, but one year later I've gained 10 lbs right back. That's what happens when you're not able to maintain the level of commitment you once had! 
My lifestyle changed in 2018... I took on a higher stress job and both of my kids are now in half day school at different schools & different times of the day (so I now spend about 1.5-2 hours in the car most days). I also didn't make fitness & diet the high priority it was in 2017. I still made a solid effort, but I didn't dedicate myself the way I had previously.

But here's the thing: I backslid... but I don't really regret it.

Setting goals at the beginning of the year should be a reflection of your priorities. And if I learned ANYTHING in 2018, it's that I (and you and literally everyone) CAN'T do it all. I've heard the phrase said "You have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce," and I know that's meant to be inspirational but sometimes it makes me feel inadequate. YES we do have the same amount of hours in a day, but our lifestyles, income, and priorities are wildly different! I respect her hustle, but mine looks different.

I think as women, we often place pressure on OURSELVES to have 5 million top priorities and succeed at them all. I should be the best wife their ever was, a perfect mom, maintain healthy relationships with all of my friends, kill it at work or a side hustle, eat the healthiest diet and maintain a rockin' bod, volunteer at my kids' schools at every opportunity, and keep my house spotless. It's my experience that doing even ONE of those things perfectly is nearly impossible, let alone all of them! The reality is, we can pick a couple of those to be really killer at, or be kind of mediocre at all of them.
I'm at peace with the limits of my existence and what I'm physically, mentally, and emotionally capable of (although I'm regularly trying to push those boundaries). And It's OK that I can't be great at all of them all the time.

As I'm making resolutions and goals for the new year, I'm trying to keep the perspective that if I decide to make something a real priority, it's likely other things will suffer. And that's ok.

I've found that when I set my mind to a goal, I can do really well at achieving it. In 2017 one of my goals was to grow my blog & social media and I saw some really great growth that year! If you're reading here it's likely that's when you started following along. I also did well at losing weight and getting healthier. Last year I made work & family a higher priority than years previous, and because of that I gained more responsibility at work, earned trust, and got a raise! At home I made more memories with my family, went on more trips, and became closer to my husband and children.
But here's what I was terrible at:
- cleaning my house- my husband and I are now talking about hiring a maid a couple times a month to pick up the slack we can't handle.
- growing my blog- my page views on here went down in 2018 and I saw almost no growth on Instagram. I also have about 5 photo shoots I have yet to blog on here.
- maintaining friendships- I didn't lose any friends (that I know of) but I got worse at texting back & stopping by.
- caring for my mental health- I had more anxiety attacks and anxious days
- maintaining my weight loss- I gained back 10 lbs & became a little less active

And my point in sharing that is just to say: as you make your resolutions for 2019, give yourself grace. You are amazing and can do ANYTHING you set your mind to, but you can't do EVERYTHING at once.

Don't be under the false impression that other women are out there doing it all. They're doing what they've prioritized and it looks a little different for everyone.
I'm also not blind to the fact that some people don't have the option to prioritize what they want, because they're surviving right now. Whether that's financial circumstance, mental health, or any other situation that has you boxed in right now... it's ok to be in that survival stage of life too. It's a huge feat to survive and don't let anyone else make you feel inadequate. Keep surviving.

Peace and love to all of you in this new year, holler in the comments if you have goals to share!

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